It’s interesting how self-care is interpreted in so many different ways. You might think of indulgences like spa days, a bubble bath, pedicures and prosecco, or anything pumpkin spice related as self-care. Some definitions may resonate most with you, but all of them share a general theme: to actualize one’s highest self.
Even if we set out with a sincere intention to build a great self-care routine, it’s easy to become so focused on the means and what others do that we think rarely, if ever, about our own self-care goals. We settle back into maintaining existing routines, making familiar choices via well-defined processes. And we tend to avoid difficult questions and tensions, which the serious pursuit of purpose raises.
Practicing self-care starts by getting clear about what it means to self-actualize
The human experience is about the journey towards wholeness. Self-care is constantly balancing your unique body and mind needs against a spiritual backdrop to achieve your definition of the highest self. Spirituality helps balance the energy and needs of your body and mind towards the higher self and unlocks a world of opportunities to live a whole and healthy life. As you remember a time when you felt happiness or love, there is a strong mind-body connection. You feel healthier when you are happy. Negative feelings like anger and hostility disrupt your body’s normal functions. Stress and long-term depression can damage your heart.
We live in a world that is filled with barriers and limits, a culture where too
often people are judges. But at the same time, the economic and technological advancements around us have created an entirely new class of ruckus markers and have given people the freedom to stand up and reach for their higher selves.
It is important to remember that unchosen suffering is going to happen in life. There will be rough days, days that we find ourselves in a stressful situation.
Self-care puts us in a position to be able to respond to stressful events and regulate our emotions.
Self-discovery is the first step in how we can get back to the raw power of the idea of self-care and jettison the ambiguity, complacency, and ritualization that have grown around self-care.
Self-discovery is the first step in accomplishing your self-care goals and is mostly about being aware of your physical and mental uniqueness and identify areas where nourishment is needed, making sure those needs are recognized and asked for. Fulfilling those needs nourishes all levels of your being and helps fill your cup, because “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” Keep in mind that in our self-care
journey, no two people are alike. It is also natural that even if your purpose
endures, how you understand and act on it evolves as you experiment and learn
in a changing world. You may find that what works for you to re-fill your cup changes over time. Remember, we only get this one body, so it is in our best interest to take care of it.
Here are 6 steps to help raise awareness on your self-care needs:
1. Start by building yourself a spiritual practice
Spirituality is the backbone of the relationship to oneself in the journey of self-care and self-discovery. As Teilhard de Chardin, the French philosopher said: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Spirituality is not always about religion, prayers, and rituals. Spirituality is your own very personal connection with the divine. The opportunities to manifest spirituality are endless. Going on nature walks, forgiveness, meditation, creating time to just be, sitting in silence, yoga, and gratitude are all about building a relationship with the spirit. We are all different, so it is important that we find a practice that helps refocus our attention based on our unique needs.
2. Get intentional about your self-care practice
Make practicing self-care deliberate and a habit by asking yourself “what do I need to feel whole in this moment?” Habitualize behaviors that underpin the ways you talk to or treat yourself. It can be easy to get trapped in the cycle. Before you know it, you end up feeling like you are in a hamster wheel, not really doing anything for yourself. Schedule self-care into your life.
Set a date to go visit the place you always wanted to go to. Be flexible and design it any way you want. Schedule something you would be looking forward to. Lighting a candle, playing your favorite music or making yourself a cup of tea go a long way when it comes to your self-care and self-love practice.
3. Do the mindful check-in with yourself
Self-care tends to drop off when it’s most needed. Experiment to see what works best for you, anything from the way you manage your energy to how you take care of your body.
4. Adopt an attitude of non-judgmental justice towards yourself
Give yourself the freedom to experience without feeling judged. Self-care is a journey and work in progress. It is not about taking the selfish approach of “me first”. It rather means “me too”, as L.R. Knost said: “Self-care is about including yourself in the list of things you need to take care of.” Practice self-love and acknowledge that your needs are unique based on a lot of different factors like your genetic predispositions, environmental and lifestyle differences.
5. Allow yourself time on adjustment period
It is natural that your self-care needs endure and how you understand and act on those needs evolve as you experiment and learn in an ever-changing world. Your self-care and self-discovery journey is not an overnight experience. Like any other accomplishment, it takes perseverance to explore, experiment and adjust. Keeping a journal of your progress and your needs list is a very useful tool to keep all ideas in the same place.
6. Celebrate small wins
Any small action enhances motivation and leads to something more. Motivation is not always high. When it wavers, focusing on small wins can be self-fulfilling to sustain your internal energy. Like any other accomplishment, celebrate small wins. Celebrate by sharing your progress with family and friends, giving yourself compliments, or treating yourself to a small reward.
Imagine you do 30 minutes of self-care a day:
· 10 minutes of meditation, walk in nature or sitting in stillness
· 10 minutes of exercise, yoga or any kind of movement
· 10 minutes of reading, spending time with friends and family, practicing a hobby you love or cooking a healthy recipe
30 minutes of restorative activity a day is over 180 hours of self-care practice in a year that will increase your joy, enhance your energy and support your mood. Compare that with the 5 hours a day that an average person spends on watching TV or browsing through social media.
What would be possible if you showed up for yourself?