Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Gossip can bring excitement to the boring office life, almost giving us an adrenaline rush. It can sometimes feel like a natural part of socializing. However, when you consider the impact of gossip on employee mental health, it can lead to exhaustion, depression and anxiety. Negativity in the workplace costs businesses billions of dollars and impacts the morale, productivity and health of individuals and teams.
Gossip is dangerous and destructive, but so is Gossip’s first cousin, Hearsay.
All those times we encounter gossip, we have the choice of halting it, redirecting the conversation, or simply walking away, protecting our own well-being and creating a healthier work environment.
Many people say that they don’t like gossip but they often engage in it without even knowing. How do we differentiate between what is and what is not gossip? Here’s a checklist that can help:
What Workplace Gossip Is:
- Spreading Unverified Information
- Talking about Someone Behind Their Back
- Spreading Negative Speculation
- Undermining Colleagues
- Exaggerating or Fabricating Stories
- Discussing Coworker's Personal Issues
- Encouraging Divisiveness
- Disrespecting Privacy
What Workplace Gossip Is Not:
- Fact-Based Conversation
- Professional Feedback or Constructive Criticism
- Discussing Work-Related Goals and Strategies
- Open, Transparent Communication
- Respectful Personal Conversations
- Seeking Help or Guidance
- Discussing Professional Achievements
- Focus on Work Environment Improvement
How to Turn Negative Gossip into a Positive Conversation
Turning negative gossip into a positive conversation can be a tricky task. You often get caught up in conversations and sharing opinions that may not be the most constructive. It can be a valuable skill to redirect the conversation and change its tone with a little mindfulness and tact.
Here are a few strategies to help handle those situations:
1. Redirect Focus to Finding Solutions
When a conversation starts with a complaint or issues, you have two choices: You can either add fuel to the fire by finding more problems, OR you can steer the conversation toward solutions and positive action. For example, if coworkers are gossiping about someone’s mistakes at work, ask:
“What do you think we can do to support this individual more to prevent mistakes from happening in future?”
This approach encourages proactiveness and a focus on improvement instead of blame.
2. Change the Narrative
If the gossip is about a person, shift the conversation to that person’s good qualities and contributions he’s made in the past. You can say:
“I know there have been challenges in the past, but they’ve helped with [name positive task/project example]”
3. Ask Open-Ended Thoughtful Questions
Ask thoughtful questions to prompt people to elaborate more on their arguments and encourage them to consider alternative perspectives. You can ask:
“What other factors might we not know about could have contributed to these issues?”
Open-ended instead of “yes” or “no” questions help deepen the conversation and allow for multiple different perspectives to steer the conversation toward aligned understanding and effective solutions.
4. Model the Behavior You Want to See in Others - Lead by Example
This is a top-down approach, where you lead setting the right tone and expectations, influencing the culture throughout the organization. Avoid participating in the gossip. Over time, many others will follow your lead and adopt the same positive behavior.
5. Focus on Team Goals and Collaboration
When gossip emerges, gently redirect the conversation toward the team’s main goals and encourage a proactive approach to addressing any challenges. Help everyone remember why they are here and the bigger picture. Refocusing on the goals will remind the team that there is more to focus on than individual differences, disagreements or small issues.
6. Set Boundaries and Expectations
It’s crucial to set boundaries to prevent gossip from becoming toxic. This helps establish clear expectations that gossiping behavior will not be tolerated, promoting a more respectful and professional atmosphere.
7. Encourage Open Communication
It’s easy to talk behind a coworker’s back and raise issues when they’re not in the room to defend themselves or share their side of the story. However, the truth is only complete when both sides are heard and when judgement can be made based on facts not half-truths. It’s essential to encourage employees to be transparent and address concerns directly with their peers. Holding regular meetings where employees can express their thoughts, ask questions, or raise concerns in a safe and respectful space is an effective way to turn negative gossip into productive, positive conversation.
Gossip can be destructive to employee morale. If you hear someone talking about a team member behind their back, you can be sure that they would do the same about you. Negativity must be addressed early before it has a chance to grow and spread.
